AITAH because I don’t want my partner’s family and friends to come over after I have our baby?

I’m due to give birth this month and I am already feeling very anxious and scared for when baby is born.

I think I am the asshole because I would like to stretch it as much as possible before his family and friends meet the baby but, I’d like to have my mum for support.

I’m allowed to have two people in the room with me while I labour and I would like to have my mum and my partner there. I live away from all my family so the plan was for her to fly here when I’m in labour and then stay for a week after the birth to support me. He said to me the other day that he was even considering having his mum in there while I labour and I told him that was not an option.

My partner and I got into a bit of a heated discussion this morning because I said I don’t really want to have visitors straight away and that I do not want people showing up unannounced after I’ve just had a baby. My partner said that if my mum can come visit then he should be able to have whoever he wants to come and visit to meet the baby (my mum and my family are all up to date with their vaccinations but my partner, his friends, and family are not and my partner refuses to get them done).

He said that I am a hypocrite for wanting my mum there but not allowing his family and friends to meet the baby.

It’s winter where I live and we have friends here who have had winter babies and they are sick and I am so scared of my baby getting sick.

He even mentioned something like how if my family come but his important people aren’t allowed to then he’ll drag my family out by their hair onto the street. He said that he didn’t have a great experience with his first born to his ex (he does not see his kid) and that he’s starting to see similar signs between that pregnancy and mine.

He also said that what I’m doing is manipulative which is worse than him speaking to me a little bit harshly.

He also mentioned wanting to take our baby out when he’s a week old and I said that our baby does not need to go out in public when he’s that young and I kind of feel like he just wants to show the baby off.