AIO I feel hurt and invalidated by my partner

please tell me whether it’s normal for me to feel this way or whether deep down i am an abuser and don’t even realize. i am willing to work on myself and hear the harsh truth.

so for context i can be a little snappy when i am overstimulated or have a garbage day and that’s what happened so my partner gently brought it to my attention. i mostly feel mixed emotions at our exchange including anger and frustration but he has brought to my awareness my intense emotional states so i can’t tell when i’m being crazy or justified. i keep looking over our texts trying to see where he was cruel or unjust but he wasn’t so why do i feel like this?