Hfamilies avoiding their own kids

Unpopular opinion: a lot of host families seem to avoid spending time with their own kids.

I’m an au pair in my second year in the U.S., taking care of two babies. From my experience, many host parents seem to actively avoid engaging with their children. One day, I worked a 10-hour shift while my host parents’ parents were visiting. Despite the whole family being home—and no one else working except me—no one even acknowledged the kids.

In another instance, my host parents got upset with me because I let the babies crawl into the living room where they were sitting. They didn’t want them in there. Moments like this make me feel awful, and I’ve heard many similar stories from many other au pairs. Some parents seem to rely on having an au pair so much that they barely spend time with their own children.

I get that parenting can be exhausting and at times challenging, but completely avoiding your kids is wrong on so many levels. What kind of message does that send? An au pair isn’t a permanent solution—you can’t outsource parenting forever. Coming from Europe, this kind of dynamic is something I’d never expect in my home country.

I didn’t sign up to be a parent or sacrifice my happiness for this kind of treatment. I became an au pair for the experience, to explore new cultures and traditions, as MANY other au pairs. But instead, this experience has shown me how some host families take advantage of the program—prioritizing their own convenience over truly being there for their children.

I can sadly speak for many other au pairs, and reasons like this, is making more and more au pairs wanting to quit the program.