Did anyone’s SO act sexually inappropriate while Manic? TW; SA

Posting here once again trying to make sense of a number if events that happened with my Ex bf. TW; SA

When he was manic he had touched me regardless of me saying no n only stopped when i pushed him off, said in appropriate things abt my friends, saved my friend’s pic to his porn folder, touched himself while hanging out with me unwarranted, pushy about sex, and one time was weirdly…’aggressive’ during the deed. He also didnt stop or check in on me one time while i burst out sobbing.

This was all during his 4+ month long (ongoing? We broke up before it ended) manic episode. I know 100% he was hyper-sexual n not “in control”.

No one else has mentioned going through something like this anywhere online.

But i cant help but need to think that this was not just him being manic but indicative of himself as a person at the core. I just can’t accept the abuse being bc he was manic - it feels so invalidating and removes any responsibility and accountability my Ex has in this.

I can’t help but think he did this because he wanted to because hes a bad person deep down, that the mania just brought it to surface because its the only way I can accept with his behavior. I also know mania n psychosis distorts their reality, personality, and beliefs and so maybe it wasnt actually him but i NEED it to be him just so theres even a skiver of responsibility on his part. He can’t get away scotfree just bc he wasnt in control n went quite literally mad (he thought he was a secret agent).

I feel like im being gaslit by the situation? Invalidated by his mental illness? (When he was lucid he refused ti take accountability for his actions n also said he straight up doesnt remember his actions when in the depths of mania which i also know is a very real symptom of mania and psychosis so that adds another layer to it)

Does that make sense?????? I have no idea whats valid, sensible, correct, or maybe im just overreacting, being unfair to him, or crazy.

Sorry for typos and errors in my English