Super Bowl Commercials

Oh, great. It’s that time of year again, the Super Bowl, when companies blow millions of dollars to air commercials that people pretend to enjoy. “Oh my God, did you see that one?” Yes, Karen, I saw it. It was a car ad with a sad dog and some forced nostalgia, just like every other year. Groundbreaking.

Super Bowl commercials used to be fun. Now, they’re just an arms race of celebrity cameos and overproduced nonsense that has nothing to do with the product. One minute, you’re watching a guy skydive out of a plane, and the next, it’s a truck ad. What does skydiving have to do with a pickup truck? Just shut up and buy one.

Then there’s the emotional manipulation. Oh, you thought you were watching a lighthearted beer ad? Joke’s on you, it’s actually about a puppy dying and the power of friendship. let’s not forget the “funny” commercials that were clearly written by a room full of marketing executives who haven’t laughed since 1997. What screams comedy like a forced catchphrase designed to sell you potato chips.

And the worst part? Everyone will talk about these commercials like they were life-changing. “Did you see the one with the talking llama?” Yes, Todd, I did. And I already forgot what it was advertising. But don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be in every YouTube ad for the next six months.

Wake me up when the game is back on.