Arranged Marriages are scary what if..

I was 27F when i got married, at first was really very happy about it all happening finally like any other girl in her 20’s. Met this guy and his family through a connection of our grandparents, we said yes to each other without knowing anything about the other. We did speak to each other over texts and calls but couldn’t figure much out because in the beginning of any relationship it’s easy to pretend everything, i won’t lie even I pretended at times but I spoke the truth as well. So the early months were quite happy to begin with, regular taunts of wake up early try helping in the kitchen, and all I didn’t take it all well because it was hard initially but gradually got used to it set a routine take care of others and the household responsibilities, I did ask my husband that I would like to work post marriage but I think it got lost in translation completely. My FIL stated in my early days itself that your MIL will be busy the entire day looking after the house, the SIL will be looking after her business and my husband and himself would be busy taking care of their own family business, to which i couldn’t react much but later on the ground reality shook me. We took nice trips abroad, was gifted a lot of good things in the festival time, we roamed in his big cars chauffeur driven but slowly I realised that something was wrong as the family and my husband would inflict his mistakes upon me completely by shifting blames, like how I got married in low budget and how they spent more on the wedding, how they are supporting me financially and how destiny brought me to their family in a sugarcoated way.

Every festival there was an underlying demand by my MIL to give gifts which were up to standards only, how I was supposed to match that with no job at hand. Even if I tried to find work according to my calibre, they slyly started talking about how a DIL should contribute to household only (they had multiple house help but later on I discovered they were just their office staff being overexploited by them) their general attitude was of a patriarchal family and lack of taking a stand by my husband greatly harmed my self-esteem i tried speaking to him on occasions but he would shun those doubts of mine away by asking me to simply “overlook” some shortcomings as I was not perfect myself either, or some other excuse. Slowly I did my best on the home front and found a job too close to our house walking distance, i didn’t expect the family to be happy with that decision but they were not that upset with it either so I stubbornly decided to take whatever I got. During my tenure at that firm, my husband one night fell quite sick, i myself had a routine to help with household chores in the morning , evening when i came back for lunch and Ofcourse during dinner, I felt I was doing my best but he gingerly said you only care about your stupid job and not me, I got super hurt and decided to quit but since lay offs were also happening at the same time in that firm I lied that they were laying me off as well, in one of our arguments he got to know that I quit by myself and angrily he went to his parents floor to tell them what I had done, yes he reported everything to his parents whatever happened between the two of us… A lot of heated arguments kept happening, I continued to stay quiet most of the times crying to myself as he would leave the residual unsolved arguments without communicating about them.

I realised that his parents were no good either in front of the world they made it look perfect but behind closed doors even my FIL would scream and blame my MIL for silly things, small or big. My SIL was no less, she would often belittle me on our trip abroad that why I wasn’t able to visit a country abroad up until this time. My husband never cared to stand for me or defend my pride even once, he lacked emotional attachment to me.

The things took a horrible toll on me when i lost 2 of my family members to deteriorating health, and his behaviour remained the same the problem was when I wanted emotional support he misunderstood it as me asking for financial support as well so I refrained from informing him about live updates of my family. During this my mom fell sick, got diagnosed with a life threatening disease, he and his family stayed unperturbed about it, and when she fell really seriously ill, and asked him to send me back to my mother’s home, he flat our started stating all reasons why I shouldn’t be leaving right now, and how my mother should hire an attendant when my mother clearly needed her daughter that is me.

I put my foot down this time around and didn’t go back to them at all, they did try to reconcile the situation in very odd ways, clearly not worried about my Moms health at all, rather blaming her that she never asked them about their health and what they were going through at that period of time, despite of my mom’s attempts of calling them and asking them about their health clearly they denied that she didn’t. First they tried reconciling emotionally, which I understood that they all lacked as a family and it ran only on materialism soully. Secondly they said either of us won’t be able to find anyone better than ourselves. Thirdly they said all their generational wealth was going to be ours if I continued the marriage.

Man I have never felt so strange, I mean my upbringing is fairly modern, I was an independent woman before my marriage as well, I didn’t need anything they offered, and I suggested a divorce.

They insisted on me coming to their city irrespective of concerns for my mom’s health. Aware of their existing treacherous moves I declined on going there rather wanted them to come in my city to file the case. When they declined the same, I now have filed it in my city but aware of their power and connections still ready to fight my way out of this horrible marriage.

I hope anyone in this kind of situation is able to come out of it. As staying in a bad marriage is not the solution in today’s generation at least.

I wish to connect with people and change my social circle so I vented it out here. Do comment your thoughts and please be kind with your words as criticism is not what i want. ❤️‍🩹 peace out! ✌️

TLDR : I (27F) got married into a toxic dysfunctional family, husband was unsupportive of everything i did only wanted me to do household chores it seems cause they never wholeheartedly agreed to me working. The joint family’s attitude towards me was pretty rude and heartless. They were all very money minded and conscious about their reputation. The things ended when he showed no empathy towards my mother’s ill health. I am seeking divorce now which is in process and that is all I want nothing else. Peace ☮️ to the commenters your opinion is totally objective but please don’t victim blame had i been happy I would have not been here writing my story.