Just received that text from my mother without any warning

"X, I want to move forward too,
But I can’t move forward without my 12-year-old daughter, whom I left stranded when that crash half-killed me.
When I found you again, you didn’t recognize me, and I didn’t recognize myself either.
You had to move forward on your own... I did what I could to surface.
And since then, I’ve been hoping for you.
I miss you, my daughter."

I actually want to throw up. This is after we talked on the phone 10 days ago, I told her I needed her to take accountability for not protecting me from my father and neglecting me and she begged me to tell her she did nothing wrong and TW

threatening suicide.

It's not new but I am still amazed how much my emotions don't matter to her. I feel sick. If it wasn't for my little sister I would have blocked her a long time ago.

Edit : and the neglect and not protecting me from my father is before that car crash she mentions when I was 12. It's incredible how she uses it as an excuse for everything.

Edit : I couldn't handle my emotions and wrote down in a text all the abuse. It's the first time ever I am doing that. I blocked her for now. I can't handle the backlash and guilt tripping that will follow right now.