I'm getting anxious about time going by.

Neither I or my girlfriend (both early 30s) feel ready or 'want' kids.
In terms of plans, she is leaning more toward not having them.
I love her of course, but my indecision starts to feel like disinterest.

I still think more about my own matters in front of me, like my artistic goals, taking the time to have fun, my health, organization skills.

I feel like neither of us are kid-ready people. Somehow I feel like this is part of what keeps me from actually being able to think about whether I want kids or not.

I still like investing time in video games and stuff. I think sometimes whether I have set myself up to have the right priorities. She came out of the gate not wanting kids, and will commonly make jokes about not having them, which make me feel anxious.

I sometimes wonder if I'm just complacent and have issues with truly

taking responsibility. It'd be fairly consistent with other matters of

my life.

I have no close friends with kids, and those who do want them are the types

who probably have always known, and probably wouldn't be much more help

than my dad who also always figured he'd have kids.

I really hate this feeling. I don't know if it'll ever go away.

I don't want my anxiety about being with a partner who doesn't want kids while I'm undecided

to turn into resentment that I missed my shot by picking the wrong partner.

I hope I'll be more mature when my window has truly passed, but this is a fairly

important matter.

I have so much self-doubt and I wonder how much of that is me living my life

honestly and how much is just my being complacent.

I cringe when I hear people joke and celebrate being 'child free'.

I don't consider them bad people, but I just hate the idea of being

immature or irresponsible, which is usually how this comes off.

Really not intending to sound judgy to people who make the choice not to have

kids. It's just my gut reaction.