I just started highschool and I already feel spent
This is going to get messy soo..
Assignments are becoming increasingly annoying and hard to want to do
Classes are starting to feel suffocating
Peer pressure and the overwhelming sense of needing to be perfect is getting stronger
I hate going any and everywhere
Encouraging words don't make me feel better
Some many ambitions yet no willpower to go through with them
Always tired
Stage fright (I've had this since a while but it's just gotten worse)
Needing/Wanting to please everyone
Unable to stand failing in anything
Competitive academic/co-coricullar activities with peers/friends
Only seeing every flaw I find in myself
I hate being used as an example(even if it's a good one that puts me in the light)
I don't talk to anyone unless it's necessary (exceptions are 2 of my closest friends)
Short temper
First thoughts of anything are negative
Idk,is this normal for a high schooler? Like,I know that high school is the peak of self-discovery but this early??? Primary school wasn't this hard for me. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? I've tried writing down my feelings but that didn't stick for long. Keeping it bottled will just end up with me loosing my mind. Talking to someone will help but as most humans,I don't have/trust anyone to talk to. And a therapist is expensive and most will just go back and tell my mom soo....a little help anyone?
(I just needed somewhere to vent)