Any other 30-40somethings drowning in big expenses

I am squarely Middle Class according to my income and location (~$100k in Ohio). In the last two years I've been working hard at getting my miscellaneous spending under control - eating out less, getting coffee less, shopping less, going to concerts less, etc. I spent less money on food last year than I have any year since I started tracking my expenses a decade ago.

Despite my best efforts to save more, everything keeps happening - my roof needed replaced and all the plywood underneath was rotted, my car broke down, there was mold in my bathroom so we needed to tear out all the tile and bathtub, my dog has thrown his back out twice (lil guy who forgets he's 9 years old), my cat ate some string and needed an emergency vet.

Now my furnace blower has gone out. The furnace is 22 years old and a new blower is over $1000. My AC is also 22 years old, so it makes sense to replace them both now to save on the labor costs. The quotes I got to replace both with more efficient units are between $10-$15k.

Again, I am incredibly lucky - I bought my house before covid, so even though I'm spending $40k in maintenance in the last five years, I've gained $100k in equity and my mortgage is $1000/month cheaper than if I tried to buy my house at today's value/interest rates. I just feel so anxious not having a 6 month emergency fund because emergencies keep happening.