I hate being married in the Western world.

I'm having trouble with my marriage in the western environment. We were both born and raised here, and have so much family here so moving will never be an option. I hate that there are mostly naked women on the street, in every single entertainment show/movie, etc. as well as normalized drugs/alcohol/clubbing, especially where we live. My husband lowers his gaze and we've had extensive conversations over it but it is IMPOSSIBLE to not catch a glimpse of a woman dressed barely in a bikini, or have something come in your eyesight by accident. Or a naked women comes up in a movie we've gone to see. My husband doesn't want any shows or movies with a lot of sex and nudity in it, but even the tamest shows/movies that I check the family guide of beforehand have unexpected close ups of cleavage, legs, bottoms, etc, scenes of strip clubs where everyone is scantly clad, or even full frontal breast nudity. Even things like Instagram reels, he'll send me a funny video and all I can think about is how the girl in it is wearing a very low cut top, or tight clothes where you can see everything.

So without trying to at all, my husband does see a lot of women naked that are not me. I get SO triggered every time I see it, especially because I was speaking to someone before my husband that had a heavy p0rn addiction years ago (before I reverted).

I dress modestly for the sake of Allah swt, but I can't help but go into a toxic thinking pattern of "if my husband can see naked women everywhere, why does he deserve someone who covers up, he gets the best of both worlds - a modest wife but also the ability to look at other women wherever he goes because it is so normalized". I never bring this up to my husband, because he is a great Muslim, has brought me closer to Islam, and lowers his gaze as much as it is possible without looking at the ground 24/7. It's just inner thoughts I can't get rid of.

I'm just not sure how to deal with it. I'm a revert, so I have no one to talk to about this who gets the level of modesty that I expect, besides my husband who I think is getting tired of me bringing it up because I don't think he knows what else he can do at this point. I have no fault with him. I just can't get over it and I don't want to push my husband away because of it.