I honestly can’t believe I’m asking this but… (TW: possible incest ahead, reader’s discretion is advised)

Now, I (14f, or 14m as far as the relevant people here are aware) have a living situation similar to that of a divorce child, only without the legal troubles. Essentially, I go to my dad’s on weekends and sometimes more/less time depending on circumstances (I swear this is relevant to the main point of this post). Now, this is obviously awkward as hell, but it’s also opened me to these thoughts.

Now, let’s start off with how my mother and D, who is essentially my stepfather, although we don’t use those terms and I’ll be continuing that here to not confuse things and to make things easier, act with me. Now, first off, I want to clear up that mom and D are pretty good parents, they do their job well and they care about me, and from my perspective it just seems they don’t know any better. But enough of that, onto the main points. First of all, they regularly ask me to shake my butt for them very casually. They’re not particularly pushy with it and will take no for an immediate answer, but the fact that they ask at all still weirds me out. Next, they would occasionally and casually smack my ass while walking by until I made clear that it makes me uncomfortable, however I feel that this is something that shouldn’t have even needed to be discussed to be known as something inappropriate for a parent/child relationship.

Now for why I think this is weird. First of all, I’ll come back to my dad and my mom being separated. See, when I’m with my dad, I don’t experience any of this, rather more typical signs of affection between a parent and their child (occasional kiss on the head, hug, etc). The second thing that tipped me off to this being odd is that I’ve seen a ton of fictional families such as the Simpsons, the Belchers and the Heelers just as some examples, and none of them show that kind of behaviour at all, making me believe that it may not be too normal. Finally, a YouTuber (his identity isn’t relevant to the story) who reviewed the subreddit r/insaneparents and one post was a child being upset at their brother acting similarly, and this of course was not only perceived as weird enough to be posted to that sub when the parent got upset at this avoidance, but also because the YouTuber himself also deemed it to be weird and inappropriate, albeit not those words verbatim.

One other problem I have is that they also do this with my sister who is about half my age, which just makes it feel worse. Oh, and in case anyone rushes to the comments to ask why I entertained this, it started when I was ten, I’m autistic, which likely contributed to me taking longer to pick up on this behaviour being abnormal, and I was also very introverted and still am, albeit less so, to this day, so I couldn’t base whether this was normal on anyone else’s parents because I never visited any friend’s homes. As I stated before, I love my parents and I genuinely don’t believe that they do this with the intent to groom me like most others who act inappropriately to minors, but it seems like they don’t know that it could be weird. So people of Reddit, am I right to call this behaviour inappropriate for the relationship it’s done in, or am I the one who’s out of touch?