Noob udyr looking to improve the basics

Hello

Im new at udyr, but really enjoy his playstyle.
Like all new players, i start out by "doing what the guides tell us" talking primerily about things like u.gg

I don't like to do this, as i prefer taking talents and items that will help me against the team im currently playing. The guides say, Always max R first.. but the guide doesnt say why.
The Q seems to be doing a bunch of dmg.. why not max that first?

Should E not be prioitized? better stun, better fun?

Why don't people build more lifesteal on him.. seems like a really good combo with his shield..

And lastly. Should i focus on farm or objectives, or ganking in the early game?

thanks in advance. i just... i don't like people saying "do this, and don't ask why"... i wanna know why