Psychology of my childhood affecting my work relationship with an older Asian manager

Context: I'm a Chinese-American man who grew up in the States with tiger parents - that style of parenting really shaped my relationship with achievement, criticism, self-worth, and all the emotional triggers that come with it. Essentially, I subconsciously tie my self-worth to performance and often feel the need to impress authority as love and acceptance were conditional from my parents.

I'm now 35 and working as a scientist in the pharma/biotech industry with a mid-senior position. My manager is an older Chinese woman (not Chinese-American) who has all the hallmarks of an emotionally unintelligent, judgmental, and un-empathetic tiger parent. The way she manages me and provides feedback is exactly how I experienced my parents. I never receive positive feedback when I perform well and get chewed out when I make a mistake. I'm also punished for asking questions - 'why don't you know this' is a frequent response or follow up.

This creates undue anxiety at and around work. Every message I get from her is a jolt of anxiety - to the point where the sound of the notification sets me off. I dread out 1-on-1 meetings and feel immense relief once they are over. What's interesting though is that she actually does not expect me or anyone else to work long hours - I'm pretty sure I'd quit if the stress was that much higher.

Can anyone else relate to this? I've thought about leaving this job but literally everything else is amazing about the role and the current job market in biotech is stagnant. I'm also in therapy, which helps, but I don't think I've ever heard other perspectives on this.