Farewell, you sorry sack of shit...

I don't want to go into the New Year with this anger in me, so I'm laying it out here and leaving it behind. Hopefully. I realize I could probably text all this to you, because really, what do I have to lose? Even if you hated me after, you never talk to me anymore anyways. I can't believe how much of my time I let you waste. You were my best friend for almost an entire year...texting me every day...sometimes taking things farther than friendship. But it was YOU. YOU who initiated everything with me...YOU who started the sweet talking, YOU who wanted me to call you, YOU who said all the things that made me feel special. And when you abruptly ended that with no explanation, I kept my mouth shut. I didn't question it. I sat there with no closure, just happy to remain your friend. And when I tried to end things because I had fallen in love with you, you wouldn't let me. You told me it was silly, stupid. And when I FINALLY spoke up about the way you were treating me, you ghosted me. I blocked you, because I couldn't take the silence. But I came crawling back...hoping you'd have something to say, and because I missed you. I don't know exactly what I missed. I think I still miss the you that I first met, the one that clicked with me. I can't let go of him. I don't think he's real. Was he ever? And now you've ignored me for weeks again. I thought you were dead, or that id never hear from you again. And I wake up to 3 texts from you: the same excuse..."I'm tired." Big fucking whoop. We're all tired. Get over it. You have absolutely nothing to say to me after weeks? You don't even ask how I am. I think that's what hurts the most...is how kind I am to you. How we were so close for so long...how you always told me I was special...and then after months of not talking, you don't even ask how I am. Fuck you for that. I see why you like people who "detach," as you say, because then you never have to worry about hurting people's feelings. I know you're a liar. I know you're a cheater. I know you think you have all the answers to everything. Literally all ive ever wanted from you was friendship. Maybe I said some freaky things along the way, but you initiated it all and I always apologized for the things I said that were wrong or ways that I made you feel. I can't remember you ever saying sorry for anything, even after I told you how much you hurt me.

So fuck you. I hope I have the strength to stay away from you. I have so many nice things to occupy my time. I don't want to waste any more of it thinking about you.