Help I am scared of what I have done

I am 18F and I have been addicted to porn and masturbation since I was about 7 or 8. It all started when I was about 7 or 8 and a family member had sexually assaulted me. Now keep in mind they were about 11 to 12 at the time so I feel I feel extremely torn and confused about this. They introduced me to pornography and in doing so really started me down that path in which I watch porn and masturbate damn near 4 to 5 times a week. It was so bad that when I was young I thought it was okay for me to participate in this behavior with other kids close to my age at the time ( 7 or 8 ) and I now look back and realize how I really most definitely sexually assaulted other children because I thought it was okay. My behavior is most definitely unacceptable and I now know it easily wrong but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to deal with my actions and what I did.

Now from this my addiction has grown so bad that I stole money from my family to fuel this, and it almost landed me in juvie. When I brought up what happened to my parents neither of them believed me and my sisters refused to support me because they were children and they were afraid; my one sister came out and said something later, but it was in an act of revenge against this person so my parents didn’t believe her. This person has now moved on with their lives and is doing well for themselves; they are married and happy, and I am happy for them too.

My struggle is 1. I now am really aware and understand what sexual assault and realized how bad I may have fucked somebody else up because of my actions when I was younger. 2 I fear that because I was introduced to pornography and masturbation so young and it’s fueled into this raging monster that it is now, that I won’t be able to stop. 3 Last but not least I fear I won’t be able to understand the concepts behind what real love is and I will almost become insensitive or shall I say desensitized to the real feelings and bondings that come with sexual relations from a partner because of my addiction. I also feel like my addiction has actually helped drive me away from finding relationships with others because I cannot understand the concept of intimacy or love with anyone; I mean not just relationship partners but like everyone around me; this addiction really has done the works for shaping how I view myself, family, friends and all others around me. I respect people and I am kind because I know I have to be, but that’s exactly the problem. I am doing it because I feel like I have to; I don’t do these things out of unconditional love, I do them because I feel obligated. So tell me, what so I do?