My family (and I) is slowly and prematurlely dying

Well, first of all there are a lot of things that i may skip, but here we go. My family is composed by 5 people, including myself, and as it seems, 4 of us have our own set of medical conditions that oddly, have nothing to do with each other, so, in summary, i guess not all of us are making it very far. Starting from oldest to youngest, my grandma was recently diagnosed with a condition very normal to heavy drinkers, yet only thing she drinks ever is a glass of wine on new year’s eve and that is all, and the fact that she is presenting that is very rare by itself and even more without alcoholism involved; luckily, survival time for this condition is around 5-12 years, so we are kinda lucky considering that even if she lives just for 4 years, it would’ve been a long life (not to confuse with false hope, the fact that my grandma’s time is already counted hurts as hell). Then comes my mother, back in 2010 she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer and told she only had another 6 months, well, it was 14 years ago and it is awesome but, for some reason it always comes back, and recently has been diagnosed with a metastatic process from the same tumor, for the 5th time, and even though she has came clear of every of those, it doesn’t stop to be scary to think your mom has been on the edge of life 5 times on the last 14 years, it’s draining and one just doesn’t get used to it. 3rd is my cousin, she is the “healthiest” of us all, as far as it only comes to her ovaries not working, and it may seem like something great as far as she is basically immune to having kids (clarifying she doesn’t want to have kids), but that is placing a woman in her early 30’s on the same risk groups as late 50’s ones, her chances of getting a fracture are as high as they can be and healing from one of those is not going to be easy, and considering classical bone medication shall not be given for more than 5 years, well, we are not looking at a bright future. And finally last, myself, to clarify, i am 20, yet my heart acts like one from a chainsmoker 65 years old man, you see, i have an arrhythmia that makes my heart go from 150 to 45 in a matter of a few minutes, keeping a normal rhythm is something that is weirder everyday as far as the crisis have became more usual over the past months, with a peak of 190 and a bottom of just 40 (normal heartbeat should be between 60-100, 120 in some cases and 150-160 if you are exercising), all of this while not doing any physical and having no psychological triggers; even though i am treated and we can kind of control every crisis, with the 190 precedent, i might just hit critical numbers like 250 and/or change my rhythm to a tv or something of that kind, making my chances to get a pacemaker at a young age very likely and/or simply dying of cardiogenic shock.

I truly don’t know how to feel about this, in a span of very few months we’ve came from being an overall normal family healthywise and out of the blue we are all wether not living more than 10 years or at risk of very bad complications that lead to disability. I am tired and simply destroyed by the fact that we cannot do a thing other than our usual treatments that do not secure our remission.

It is… soulcrushing, simply.