Would anyone be willing to look over my personal statement

Hi everyone!! I am a first time applicant who is pretty sure I will have to reapply next year as I haven’t gotten any good news yet this cycle!

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to look over and help me better my PS!? I am really struggling on what needs to be improved on my application and I am determined to do what I can to get in next cycle!

Thanks and congrats to everyone who was accepted this cycle I love seeing all the positive posts :)