I have both autistic parents and an autistic spouse

I see this group isn't that active but I haven't found many spaces where this topic is addressed so I'd like to share my story.

I'm 50 and going through a divorce. It wasn't until my daughters were teenagers that I experienced the depth and richness of human connection. We talked, laughed, shared our dreams, hugged, had fun together. I had never experienced this. Why had my parents never connected emotionally with me? Why doesn't my spouse?

When my children were grown I went into therapy and started to face that I had never had someone connect with me emotionally. My spouse was a good person, hard worker, steady, responsible, but he was also unable to listen to me when I spoke. He was unable to see when I was sick or sad. He didn't initiate physical contact. He was unable to anticipate my needs in any way. When I approached him and told him that I suspected he was autistic and asked him to go to therapy with me to help improve our relationship, he said that he didn't think he could do that. His solution to my unhappiness was that we should just get a divorce. No emotions, just logic.

Since our separation I've been unraveling that both my mom and dad were also autistic. They were good people. Responsible. Hard working. Never violent or angry. But I was never hugged, never told that I was loved. If I had strong emotions about something as a child I was ignored. If I was upset I had to go to my room until I could "be happy." I left home at 18 and they rarely reached out. I emailed home every week for six months and never got a personal response from them. When I'd call my mom would tell me all her news but rarely ask about my life. My dad stopped communicating with me all together.

Now that I'm divorcing, my mom has never talked to me about it. (my dad passed 8 years ago) When we talk (about once every 2 or 3 months) she'll tell me about herself in a 10 minute conversation and then say goodbye. I got a letter from her a month ago telling me that I'm the bad guy in the divorce, destroying my family.

My kids are raised and out of the house and because of the divorce and leaving my religious community I have lost nearly everyone in my life. I only have one sibling and 2 or 3 friends that still talk to me. I do have a good relationship with my daughters, and that is my saving grace.

I'm in therapy now. I struggle with relationships because of the ones modeled to me my whole life. This is going to take awhile.

Not sure what I'm hoping for out of this. Just wanting to be seen by those that might understand. Thanks for reading.