Anyone else with overprotective but at the same time neglectful parents?

Using a throwaway account for this!

I've been reflecting on this weird family dynamic lately. I have a lot of trauma rooted in my family, as I’m sure many of us here do, unfortunately. After hitting 30, it feels like something shifted—repressed memories have been resurfacing, and I hate it.

I wanted to talk about my mom. She used to pressure and suffocate me with endless dos and don'ts, as well as constant advice. She wouldn’t let me do what I wanted as a teenager, like go out with friends, buy the clothes I liked, or even wear what I wanted. She’d constantly scold me if I ever got sick because, in her eyes, it was my fault for not listening to her. In short, I didn’t have much freedom.

But at the same time, she didn’t care about the things that truly mattered. She ignored what was going on at home. She didn’t care that I was getting bullied at school and refused to transfer me, even when I begged her because my bullies were physically attacking me. She cheated on my dad and emotionally harmed me in the process but never once asked if I was okay while they were screaming at each other. That’s when I started self-harming, but no one noticed. The worst part is that I was being daily badly abused by my brother, and she didn’t do anything about it. She just let it happen. It felt like her biggest concern was whether or not I wore a thick jacket so I don't get sick or that I don't get too thin (I also developed an ED).

make it make sense.