update: boyfriend told me he hooked up with dudes, and i lost total respect for him.

so, i know i’ve been gone for a bit, and some of you might be thinking, “wow, she really is an awful person” (yes, i read all your comments 🙄). the reaction to my original post was… something else. shoutout to everyone who called me awful, stupid, ugly, fake, or insert any other bad term lol. honestly, i’m honored by the amount of righteous anger i stirred up. who knew so many people had so many feelings about me not wanting to date a guy who sucks and fucks dudes? crazy. should’ve known that was the average rs man lol 😅.

so yeah, i did break up with him. i know, i know—so awful and bigoted of me, right? after the whole “i tried hooking up with guys but i’m straight now” post and you guys’ comments, i really sat there thinking about it. was i overreacting? maybe. but then i had a lot of comments and dms from people agreeing that this was NOT normal for a straight man to do. so, i was like, okay, maybe there’s something to my feelings. not only did he go full-on into a guy’s mouth, ass, and let a dick into his own ass, but he also expected me to be like, “oh cool, babe, let’s just move on.” it was way too much for me, but don’t worry, i’ve come to terms with the fact that i’m a terrible person for having boundaries ☺️.

anyway, okay, enough snark! i had to get that out there before the inevitably mean comments. i can hear the pitchforks sharpening as i speak. but yeah…

so, a month has passed since i first posted, and a lot has happened since then. like i said, i broke up with him. and spoiler alert—he wasn’t the only one hurt by this situation. i thought i’d feel some sort of relief or clarity after, but honestly, it’s just left me feeling drained and confused.

the breakup happened a couple of days after my post, and let me tell you, the moment i ended it, he was shattered. it’s like he thought that just because we’d been together for a while, i’d just let his past “experiments” slide. he kept apologizing, begging me not to leave, and honestly, it felt like i was breaking him more than he’d ever broken me. it made me feel like he was more upset that his “secret” was out and that i wasn’t going to ignore it anymore.

then came the real kicker: after we broke up, he admitted that he was still attracted to men and might pursue them again in the future. he said something like, “i don’t know if i’ll ever be with just women forever.” like… okay? what am i supposed to do with that? lol. go ahead, you’re free to fuck or get fucked by all the men you want now! but yeah, we were both super torn up and crying. he kept saying how much he cared about me, how he was sad he wouldn’t be there for my 20th birthday, and how he “couldn’t lose me,” but at the same time, he was mentally preparing to go back to hooking up with guys once we weren’t together anymore. lmaooo.

in my first post, i mentioned how he tried to convince me that he “didn’t really enjoy it” when he was with guys. but then, during our breakup, he admitted there was something about men that he couldn’t shake—and that part of him had never fully gone away. how was i supposed to look at him the same after that? i felt lied to about so much of who he was. i’m all for people exploring their sexuality, but it’s not for me in a romantic partner. just be honest from the start! instead, he was sitting there trying to convince me that this was all in the past and he’d totally “moved on,” but that was obviously not true. like bro, you’re almost 26, get a grip.

it also didn’t help that he kept framing his confessions like it was some huge sacrifice, giving up the freedom to pursue men for me. like, sorry, i’m not competing with some other version of you that you still want to explore. it’s not fair to me. and honestly, hearing him basically admit he was ready to jump back into the same situations that caused this breakup while i was heartbroken left a bitter taste in my mouth.

to make it worse, he’s been reaching out almost every day since the breakup—texts, calls, voicemails, even using other numbers—trying to tell me how into me he still is and how he can’t believe i actually left. it’s like he’s mad at me for setting boundaries, like i’m the problem here. he kept saying i couldn’t “get over the past,” but at the same time, he was telling me he “wasn’t ruling out hooking up and dating men in the future” and “maybe he needed time to figure things out.” like… you think? lol. so i’m supposed to just sit here and wait for you to “figure it out” while you go back to dudes? i think i’ll pass ☺️.

i don’t know, maybe some people would’ve handled it differently, but for me, it was a no-brainer to end it. i loved him; he was my first love, and this hurts. but i wasn’t going to be someone’s backup plan while they figured out their sexuality. and i don’t want to date someone who doesn’t know what they want. after all the lies and him trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal, i just couldn’t stick around. he’s a grown man, he can do whatever he wants, but i’m not about to sit by while he explores that part of him at my expense.

so yeah, that’s where i’m at. i’m done, and i don’t think i could ever go back. i’m not interested in being his “experiment” or waiting around while he sorts out his feelings for men. i’ve got my own life to live, and i’m moving on.

and yes, to all the angry commenters last time, i get it, you love a bisexual king and think i’m the worst for not supporting his “journey” of pursuing pounding bussy and being pounded by cock and deciding it’s just a “phase.” but yeah, i’m done. i hope he figures out what he wants, but not with me. and no, i’m not the villain here. i’m just living my life, setting boundaries, and avoiding dudes with an inextricable urge to suck and fuck men (gay).

oh, and yes, i’ve been hooking up with dudes again. feels good dating straight guys lol. and you bet your ass i’ll be checking their phones this time to make sure they’re actually straight if it gets serious. i’m joking, but i’m not. anyway, just wanted to give y’all the update. i’m not sticking around for someone who might go back to men just because he “missed it.” no thank you. peace be upon anyone still mad at me for wanting a guy who’s a little more certain about his sexual preferences 🙃.