Am I a piece of shit

1.5 years into dating my girlfriend. We're both 26, met at a work event, live in Arizona, but since dating, she's rapidly started gaining weight. She went from probably 140 at 5'5 to 165, which might not be a lot, but it's really been bothering me. She also recently said to me that after we have kids, she's going to stop caring entirely about losing weight. So now I'm thinking, will I be ok not being as attracted to my wife at 35? When will it stop bothering me that she isn't as attractive as she used to be? She wants me to be completely enamoured by her, and hates it when I call her "Pretty" not "sexy". But deep down in my soul it bothers me, and it tears me apart. If only god could make me Jamaican so I could stop caring. Sometimes I think about my exes, and it kind of hurts me that I don't find her as attractive. Am I a soulless bug man who will never find love? Am I too old to care about having a "hot" girlfriend, and settle for someone I'm not super attracted to? It's killing me inside. I'm so lost and in so much turmoil.