Re: Generational Curses

I don’t see a psych (poor) and I have a penis (man) so my options of vocalising to someone in depth about this is fairly limited I guess.

It’s been a year since I decided to fully distance myself from my family permanently. It happened for a few reasons, but it was instigated by my mother telling me she had been fired from her job for giving gift cards out for cash.

My information is limited but from what I can tell she crashed out, deleted her Facebook, didn’t try to find new employment, went to visit her mother in England.

It is my belief there is a generational curse on my mother’s family. The effects of which include; a 17 year old dying from festival drugs, a convicted minor leader of a hate group, a patriarchs death from the effects of Hiroshima, a suicide of a partner, a heroin addict, generations of sexual abuse. All hidden behind a thin veil of British okayness.

I have tried to reconcile with my parents over the years, but I just can’t accept that you are just obligated for the rest of your life to have a relationship with people who were objectively shit to you (not bullshit either, terrible, cruel shit done to a nice kid).

My mother crashing out made me realise that a curse is a vortex, an ugly thing that you need to escape from and not look back.

I broke down watching a doc film about kids in a special needs school putting on a musical yesterday. It made me think about how my parents abused a child because they couldn’t understand it.

I don’t hate my parents, I can see a world in which I could have a relationship with them but first I’m gonna save myself like that Chinese guy on the Titanic.