Maintaining it can be harder than losing it

I started my weight loss journey in August 2019 and throughout the course of the next year, I lost 60lbs. I did this primarily through calorie counting, but I also coupled that with intermittent fasting for a bit of the journey. I’m 5’4”, my highest weight was 195, and my lowest was around 135. I maintained this weight from August 2020 to the end of May in 2021.

A few big changes happened at this point and the weight started to slowly creep on.

- I had just moved out of my college town and away from all my friends.

- I started a very stressful job that caused me to have panic attacks, I started to find some comfort in food but since this job was very active, I didn’t gain much weight yet. I quit this job after a month but unfortunately my food habits remained.

- Soon after, I got another job that was still stressful yet manageable, and still had me out of the house for around 14 hours. I meal prepped my lunch, but was so tired at the end of the day that I’d usually grab some fast food on the way home.

- I suffer from seasonal depression, so this coupled with the stress of my job and loneliness from being away from my friends caused quite a bit of weight gain.

- By around October I had noticed the weight gain, I’d creeped up to around 148 and had to buy some new pants.

- In November my relationship with my ex who I’d been living with went south, and I had to move out of the town, since I couldn’t afford my own place and I also had to quit my job and lost my income. He put me through intense emotional turmoil for the last week I had to stay there before I could move, which attributed to my depression further.

- From the end of November to now, the start of January 2022, I have gained 12lbs.

- So now I’m sitting at 160lbs and I’m finally ready to start my weight loss journey again. I would like to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes per day, since walking outside isn’t super safe. I don’t have any desire to drink alcohol so I’m trying out Dry January as well. I’m eating fresh fruits and vegetables every day and I’m learning some new healthy meals. I’m counting my calories for now to relearn what portions are supposed to look like.

I definitely struggled for a while since I was attributing my weight gain to a lack of effort or dedication. But I’ve learned that it’s not any kind of moral failing, sometimes life is just hard and when you have so much stress in your life that the added stress of trying to be perfect is simply unattainable. I’m not weak for regaining some weight, I am only human.

I hope someone on here finds this post helpful, and for those of you who are maintaining now, drop some advice for how to maintain balance during the stressful parts of your life. :) Thank you for reading.